Most divorcing parents do everything they can to keep life status quo for their kids, even though the family their children have always known is changing. What many parents tend to overlook is just how different their own lives will be when time with their kids is altered by parenting time. The most important part of this new reality is to be prepared for what to expect when you have minor children in the house and your marriage is ending.
So Much Quiet
Divorcing parents know, of course, that they won’t see their kids every day of every week. When there is an absence of running feet, slamming doors, and joyful laughter, the silence can be very loud. That first night without the kids is the first realization that they won’t always be with you.
Custodial parents do get used to the absence of their children when they have an overnight or weekend with the non-custodial parent. Some describe it like sending their children off to camp for the first time – incredibly difficult the first few days, little by little an easier thing to do.
Even though you might have equal parenting time, it won’t always feel that way. You’ll miss your kids – and you’ll also be happy for a reprieve to live a new life for yourself post-divorce. There won’t be any way to guarantee which feeling appears when, but quiet isn’t always a bad thing, and your kids seeing their other parent is a good thing too.
Some Schadenfreude
The feeling of schadenfreude often flutters through divorce proceedings. Experiencing pleasure at the misfortune of others, some might say, is half the definition of divorce, especially when you were the one who spent every night with a screaming infant, years doing doctors’ appointments alone, weekdays organizing drop-offs and pick-ups, managing the mental load – dealing with everything.
If you were married to someone who was not a heavy lifter when it came to child-rearing, they will now learn quickly what it takes to truly take care of these people you created together. The realization that your ex may not have the chops is a valid concern, but your kids will let you know if things aren’t right – and you’ll know in your gut too. Your divorce attorney is always ready to help you protect your family and file a post-judgment action to change custody or parenting time arrangements as needed.
A Bit of a Headache
Life can be a little insane when it comes to managing a parenting time schedule. A seamlessly scheduled school year can feel insurmountable when you must organize and share the load with someone you don’t love or even like anymore. That Google Doc or shared calendar that was once your family’s best friend can become your worst enemy. The aftermath of a divorce is all about adjustment, especially where children and parenting time is concerned.
It’s incredibly critical to work out a solid parenting time schedule during your Michigan divorce settlement so everyone knows when the kids will be where, who gets what holidays, and if it’s possible for you both to be agreeable enough to work together.
Get support before, during, and after your split from the family law attorneys at Michigan Divorce Help. Contact us to schedule a consultation at our office.