How Divorce Negatively Affects Adult Kids
Divorcing later in life will not spare your children from pain, unhappiness, sadness, and anger. They can and will still have the feelings they were always going to have at your split. Sure, breaking the news of the end of your marriage is a lot easier to do with an adult than a young child. But no matter what age, your kids will have plenty of thoughts and feelings about mom and dad going their separate ways.
- Home is gone: In a gray divorce, because the nest is empty, there is a good chance the family home will be sold. Adult children won’t be visiting home ever again, not in the same way, holidays and special occasions will be celebrated differently, and they won’t be bringing their significant other and children to visit where they grew up.
- Memories will shift: Don’t be surprised if your adult children grill you about the past and whether you partner were happy then or already planning your divorce. What came before your gray divorce will be clouded for your children by your choice to go separate ways now. They’ll wonder what was real and what was an act.
- Why didn’t you do it sooner: Kids know what’s going on in the house they live in. They may resent that you put them through years of discomfort only to split once they were out of the house.
See Your Gray Divorce from Your Adult Child’s Perspective
You are moving enthusiastically toward a new life, home, and existence – and you are excited. But your children are trying to grasp the idea that the family they knew, the couple they relied on, the home they loved, is now done, over.
Younger kids may see divorce as their life changing and a new reality they must adapt to. Adults may view their parents’ gray divorce as an erosion of their family history. Communication can easily breakdown between parents and their adult kids. On the flip side, you may be tempted to overshare with your adult child or lean on them for emotional support – something you would never have done when they were younger.
Some couples wait until they have an empty nest to split up. If they’ve managed to get their children to adulthood, they feel it’s finally safe to do what they need to do for themselves. But whether your kids are young adults or well-established adults, everyone will have feelings about mom and dad getting a divorce, and it’s good to know what to expect.
Get the support you need from family law attorneys in Macomb County, Michigan. Contact Michigan Divorce Help to ask all your questions as you carve out a new life for yourself and your family.