If you are determined to have an amicable relationship with your ex so parenting time will be an easy thing to navigate, if you want to help your kids have the most stable childhood possible even though you’re splitting up, then bravo. This intention is an amazing one and many people do make it work. Not every divorce is easy or friendly, but if you follow these golden rules for co-parenting with your ex, you can have the kind of split that makes Michigan divorce look easy.
1. Agree to Keep the Same Routines
Kids thrive on routine at every age. Agree with your ex about what’s best for your children and stick to a consistent schedule when it comes to mealtimes, bath time, screen time, homework, and bedtime. Kids will take advantage of any situation that gives them the advantage. You and your ex will show your kids that you’re both still in charge even if you’re apart when their days and nights run similarly in both houses. You’ll also get better behavior from kids who know they can’t push for more.
2. Live Near Each Other
If you have a 50/50 parenting time situation, try to live within a few miles of each other so custody exchanges are fast, easy, and minimally disruptive to your kids’ lives, friendships, and school activities. Spending less time commuting between homes also means having more time together or doing things together. It’s also easier for you and your ex to always be at your kids’ school events, which means the world to them.
3. Don’t Disparage Your Ex
You may really not like your ex most of the time. You may have plenty of things you want to say about him or her, but save these outbursts for your best friend – don’t say anything negative in front of your kids. They deserve to have a good relationship with both you and your ex. You can both agree not to sabotage each other or try to one-up the other person and be the fun parent. Keep your boundaries, hold your tongue, and simply parent.
4. Save Your Disagreements for Outside of Custody Exchanges
Save your fights with your ex for when the kids aren’t around. During custody exchanges, simply pass the kids off to each other and avoid verbal mashups. Sometimes doing these switches on school grounds can help everyone stay on their best behavior. Or, one of you could do school drop-off as the last bit of your parenting time and the other parent picks up the kids after school to start their time – no interaction needed.
5. Remember That You Have an Audience
Your kids are watching you at every turn, even if they’re very young minor children, even if they’re teenagers and you think they’re not paying any attention to you at all. If they witness you and their other parent getting along, or at least being civil, they will feel more secure and have higher self-esteem. You are modeling good behavior for them, including cooperation and problem-solving.
It may feel like divorce is anything but a gift, but it does create opportunity after opportunity to teach your children lessons about life, working with other people, and doing the right thing. Work with an experienced Michigan divorce lawyer to get all your parenting time rules in writing and get help negotiating with your ex to co-parent responsibly. Contact Michigan Divorce Help in Macomb County, MI, to schedule a consultation.