There is no divorced parent who will argue about the difficulties co-parenting can create. Some couples even divorce because they have such different ideas about how to raise their children. When you officially split up and live in two households your children go between, your parenting choices will be put to the test. Agreeing on something, anything, is essential. Parallel parenting could be the answer.
What Is Parallel Parenting?
Parallel parenting is intended for couples who find it impossible to get along but both want a say in raising their kids and being involved in their lives. Trying to manage joint child custody and co-parent and agree on the same rules can be impossible for some parents but if a parallel parenting situation is agreed upon, it gives kids the opportunity to be with both parents and minimizes post-divorce conflict.
Living with the Reality of Parallel Parenting
Sometimes, simply agreeing to disagree is enough to break the impasse between parents. Consider giving yourself permission to not cooperate when it comes to parenting choices. Letting go of the control you want when your children are with your former spouse is freeing – but it’s also incredibly difficult. The transition will require effort, especially when your kids report what they did or didn’t do at the other parent’s house.
If you can focus on your rules and routines when your kids are in your home and not think about what goes on with your ex, you shield your children from parenting discord. You need to ask yourself how vindictive your ex might be – if they agree to parallel parenting where they get a say without your input it may be more effective than regular co-parenting where they opt to break the rules.
When Is Parallel Parenting the Right Decision?
Co-parenting requires serious collaboration. It’s hard enough to get kids where they need to go every day in an intact household. Arranging transportation and gathering belongings from two different homes is even more difficult – especially when communication between parents is toxic or nonexistent. Parallel parenting may be the right choice when parents:
- Cannot communicate regularly and respectfully regarding their children.
- Cannot work together to accommodate their kids’ needs and prioritize them over their own.
- Will not commit to transporting the kids where and when they need to go.
- Does not prepare their child for daily life, education, or activities.
- Refuses to adjust rules about screen time usage, bedtime, or eating habits.
- Creates tension and conflict with every interaction with the other parent.
Get Support for Your Michigan Divorce
Ultimately, the decision to make a choice about co-parenting time or parallel parenting is about what’s best for the children. Your communication with your ex isn’t going to be easy after a divorce no matter what. When kids are involved, the experience is even more challenging.
When you and your ex disagree, your kids notice – immediately. Kids need to feel continuity in both parents’ homes. Working with an experienced divorce lawyer who has seen successful co-parenting choices will help you feel better about the decisions you make for your home and family. Schedule a consultation with Femminineo Attorneys in Mt. Clemens, MI.