If you’ve recently ended a marriage that lasted decades or more, you probably dated at a time when online dating wasn’t the norm. It may not have existed when you met your significant other – that honor could have been reserved for meet-cutes in bars, boardrooms, and bookstores. Even if you have online dated in the past, you are now faced with the modern ups and downs of dating after divorce. For some people, dating apps have made getting connected much more difficult.
Preparing for Dating After Divorce
For many people, it’s not dating apps that are problematic after a Michigan divorce, it’s the strength of their self-esteem. Once you’ve gone through a divorce, even if it’s amicable, you can feel wiped out. Your confidence can take a hit and you are faced with challenges you once shared with your significant other. When you’re ready to start getting out there, dating apps inevitably enter the picture – and that can come with:
- Body image concerns: You’re older than you were the last time you dated. Your body might be in great shape, or it might not be what it used to be. That can make you self-conscious and negatively affect dating outcomes.
- Trust issues: If your former spouse committed infidelity or had a pattern of lying to you about anything in your marriage, your ability to trust may be fractured, making you suspicious of every new person.
- Adjusting to self-sufficiency: No matter how financially stable you are after divorce, you are now a single person, taking care of your single self and home and children. That’s an achievement, and a struggle.
- Learning to single parent: Parenting time after divorce is encouraged to fit into a 50/50 schedule. This will change your schedule, how often you have your children, and you’ll find yourself with more free nights and weekends to date.
Create the Dating App That Show the True You
Once you realize where your head and heart are, and where things stand for you logistically, getting online to date will feel like a foreign experience at first. You have matches at your fingertips, and the world of online dating moves quickly. But first you must create your profile and put yourself out there for others to find. Where to begin?
- Take photos: Everyone is at least a semi-expert in taking selfies these days. Find your best light and smile, or have a friend take photos of you in action doing something that makes you happy. Present yourself as you are, include your pets, but nix the kids from any online dating photos.
- Present your best self: Bitterness and sadness can hang around for a while after divorce. Edit your write-ups so they’re positive and clear without showing any chip you might have on your shoulder. (For example, “Lying is a dealbreaker.”)
- Be honest: But you don’t have to be completely forthcoming. Offer up details about who you are, the field you work in, your hobbies, and that you have kids, but there’s no need to itemize how long you were married or your kids’ ages. Save the specifics for in-person dates.
If you’re dating after divorce or attempting to meet a new match as you consider splitting with your partner, contact your Macomb County divorce lawyer at Femminineo Attorneys for support.