Who you marry is who you may one day divorce. Don’t be surprised if the least lovable characteristics of your ex end up being the ones that create a nightmare divorce. Though you’ve learned to live with the best and worst of another person, if it’s time to go your separate ways, use that knowledge to manage the Michigan divorce and avoid unnecessary confrontation and pettiness.
1. Be Honest with Yourself
Some people are blindsided by the behavior of their spouse during divorce proceedings. The person they know becomes someone who acts out of spite, makes decisions that are difficult to explain to the kids, or obsessively holds onto assets. The reality, however, is that you shouldn’t really be all that surprised by their vindictiveness.
You married someone and accepted the best and worst of them. Sure, people change as years go by, but someone who never says no to a conflict, finds great joy in winning, or ignores uncomfortable situations in favor of silence is exactly who you’ll get in your divorce. The traits you may have once respected about a person could be the traits that make the ending of your marriage a total nightmare. Recognize the big picture in front of you and the successful negotiation skills you developed throughout your relationship.
2. Know Who You’re Up Against
Remember, if your ex is relatively agreeable, someone you feel you might be able to succeed at mediation with, there is still one other element to consider: the personality of the divorce lawyer your ex hires. Their guidance and personality can also make a difference between a pleasant and unpleasant divorce.
Even if your ex isn’t comfortable taking big risks, their lawyer may feel like they have nothing to lose. Ideally, you yourself have chosen a divorce lawyer who is prepared to deal with all types of personalities in the courtroom or conference room, so your divorce proceeds smoothly and logically.
3. Get Ready to Pivot
If one person in a couple is unreasonable, argumentative, or unyielding, divorce is bound to be the same. No matter how nice, agreeable, or flexible you are, difficult characteristics tend to win out and direct the course of your split. What you thought could be a quick, sensible divorce can become drawn-out, messy, and costly.
Even when you think your ex will be reasonable, make choices that are easy on the kids, you may discover they’re willing to waste weeks on negotiating summer vacation parenting time or a one-day holiday like the Fourth of July. Be prepared for the worst and most ridiculous requests and demands and be thankful if none of them come to pass.
4. Choose the Right Divorce Lawyer
If you expect a nightmare divorce, prepare mentally and emotionally. Choose a divorce lawyer with a strong personality who can go toe-to-toe with a difficult ex. Being confrontational is a powerful professional trait, particularly when negotiating the volatile end of a marriage. The lawyers at Michigan Divorce Help will keep you on offense and keep your ex accountable. Get the support you need in a nightmare divorce – any kind of divorce. Contact us to schedule a consultation.